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The DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION SCHEDULE has been released.
Monday, July 20, 2020
1:30 PM Free lunch, free medical marijuana, and free bus ride to the Convention. Food Stamp enrollment forms available.
2:00 PM Group Voter Registration for undocumented Immigrants and any deceased citizens.
3:30 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony Sponsored by CNN – Don Lemon
4:00 PM Address on “Being the Real You” Rachel Dolezal, former Head of the Seattle NAACP and Caitlyn Jenner
4:30 PM “How to Bank $200 Million as a Public Servant and Claim to be Broke” Hillary Clinton
5:00 PM “How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes.” A Seminar Moderated by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson
5:30 PM Medal of Freedom presentation to Army deserter Bo Berghdal
6:00 PM Invitation-only Autograph Session Souvenir photographs of Elizabeth Warren dressed in Native American clothing
6:30 PM Tribute to All of the 57 States Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi
7:00 PM General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the terminology “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “looters“
7:30 PM The White House “Semantics Committee” Meeting General vote on re-branding “Muslim Terrorism” as “Countering Islamophobia“
8:00 PM “Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times.
8:30 PM Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO, by Michael Moore
9:00 PM Personal Finance Seminar – “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs” Hosted by Barack Obama
9:30 PM Group Condemnation of Bitter Gun Owners.
10:00 PM Ceremonial “We Surrender!” Waving of the White Flag
10:30 PM Short film, “Setting Up Your Own Illegal Email Server to Cut Foreign Deals to your Foundation While Serving in A Cabinet Post and How to Pretend It’s No Big Deal” Hosted by Hillary Clinton
11:00 PM Official Nomination of Kamala Harris – Bill Maher and Chris Matthews
11:30 PM Group apology for being old and white led by Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden and Bill Clinton.
NOTE: In the interest of inclusiveness and to demonstrate the Party’s commitment to open borders…..no one wishing to attend will need any type of credentials, just show up, no identification necessary because that might disenfranchise people of color….and because we are welcoming everyone, there will be no metal detectors or restrictions on bags. In case you are unable to get up close and personal with party leaders within the convention property, hotels, room numbers, and cell phone numbers will be available along with directions and electronic pass keys to each room.
Written sarcastically by ‘Anonymous’
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